Childhood - Started from the bottom
Okay, so I'm going to let y'all in on a little secret. Well, It's not really a secret because some people know this about me, but I literally started from the bottom and now I'm here. There is no glamour in my upbringing nor from where I started. There's no hand outs over here. I work hard from everything that I have. I was born and partially raised in Jamaica and then moved to the US when I was 10. My whole family started out by living in someone else’s home, renting a few rooms until we were able to move into our own apartment. We struggled like crazy, especially when it came to food. I legit ate so much sardines when I was younger. Now I can't even think about ever eating them again. Okay, maybe I would, but only if they were like the only thing to eat to survive. My parents ended up buying 2 houses when I was about 14. I honestly don't remember what happened to the first one, but the second one my mom ended up selling/foreclosing when I was about 22. I was also one of those kids that started working right when I was able to, which was at the age of 14 at a grocery store. That was when I started paying for everything I needed. Phone bill, clothes, you name it. It has been that way ever since.
Mom and Dad- Divorced.
My parents never honestly had the best relationship. We didn't grow up around any toxic energy or anything, they just always had their secrets and issues. Things got bad when they both were being unfaithful and my dad left. There's so many more details, but one, not my story to tell and two, it's extremely long and some of you wouldn't understand. Long story short, they separated and then divorced by the time I was 21. In all honesty, I don't even have the full details because they never discussed it with us. My dad went back to Jamaica in 2008 when I was around 16. He was unable to come back because of green card issues, so I legitimately didn't see him until I was almost 25 and able to pay for a trip to visit him. I know some of you are probably thinking, why did it take so long for you to visit. It is honestly because when you work and pay for everything yourself including rent and other bills, it's hard to save for a trip like that. Also, Jamaica isn't cheap. It is just as expensive as it is here in the US. But yea, ever since they separated they've both basically hated each other and you can't really bring up one's name to the other or it becomes a WHOLE thing and it just ruins any kind of vibe. If I had one wish in life, it would probably be for them to find a way to get along. But that's honestly not going to happen. They are both remarried now and I think they're happy, but I honestly don't know.
Friends - LCCPS. The Voke
So when I first came to the US (Lowell, Massachusetts), it was a bit difficult to transition. The number one thing that happened was I ended up staying back in the 5th grade. There was no room in any of the 6th grade classes when I was signing up for school, so I repeated 5th grade. It wasn't a big deal though because I was still the same age as a lot of the kids in the 5th grade. I was also coming from a whole different country, so it definitely helped me in the long run. There were a few moments where I was being bullied for being different, but that passed quickly. I even ended up doing a bit of bullying by the time I was in the 7th grade. Also, funny story, one of the people that bullied me is now one of my best friends.
Growing up in Lowell allowed me to have a very diverse friend group. My closest friends are the same group of friends I’ve had since the 5th grade. Things have definitely changed a bit but I wouldn't change a thing. Some things happen for a reason and you just have to accept them and move on. A few friends were added along the way but I kept the same squad for the most part. We split up for a few years for high school because most of us went to the Voke (tech/trade school) and the other few went to Lowell High. Fun fact about the Voke though, I started high school thinking that I wanted to study and pursue the medical field. I think it was mainly because my mom was pushing me and telling me that I needed to be a nurse or a doctor. I tried, like I mean really tried, but the information that I studied just would not stick. That's when I went to what I really wanted to do: Fashion. But to conclude the friendship section, many are still rocking with me although we may not speak daily. Some are not as supportive as I would like them to be and others ride for me without me having to ask. Some need to be kept at a distance and others just got left behind. Growth sometimes means that we cannot take everyone with you.
Berkeley College.
Whenever people ask me "what college did you go to?'' It kind of puts me in a bad mood. I have a lot of resentment towards the college I went to for so many reasons. I'm not going to list them all but I am going to say that I had more disappointments than I had satisfaction. I would first like to say that originally, I was going to go to John & Whales in Rhode Island but then I changed my mind. My first option of J&W was mainly because they were giving me a very generous grant and it made the most sense. But then I looked closer into the school and realized that they didn't have a fashion program and that was the main thing that interested me. Berkeley was my second option and the one I ended up with because they also gave me a small grant to draw me in. They also promised a study abroad program and that was the one thing other than the campus being in New York that did it for me. After enrolling and seeing how small the campus was and that they then "took the program away" I was immediately disappointed. The school also runs in trimesters so trying to transfer after the first year was miserable. I honestly tried to transfer but it was basically like I was starting freshman year all over again. This was when I decided to just ride it out with Berkeley and just finish my undergrad there. They also promised job placements after graduation, that never happened for me and so many others. Other than the fact that I met some amazing people including my BFF Keiera and the fact that I still in fact did obtain a Bachelor's degree, If I could go back in time I would not have even considered them.
I used to be a morning person, BUT I'm not anymore.
So I used to be a morning person and now it's very hard for me in the mornings. My very first job was at a grocery store (Market Basket) and I would have to be at work at 6am and had no problem doing so. I even used to party all night in my wild days and get like a cat nap in before I had to be at work and would be okay. I am working towards trying to get up earlier and going to sleep a bit earlier as well, but it is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes when my alarm goes off for work I wake up groggy and annoyed. Basically if I have to be up and it's for work or something extremely important, I'll be up and I'll be there. If it is not work related, you can count me out or we can schedule for a later time. Pray for me to become a morning person again because I really miss it and also feel like I would accomplish so much more in a day.
Frugal Franny but love nice quality.
If you must know anything about me, you must know that I am very frugal. Like if there isn't a sale, I most likely won't be buying it. I'm also not very big on name brands, on top of the fact that it's all overpriced and you're really just paying for the label. But like, I don't even like paying for food and I looooove food! If you see me in any name brands/designer just know that I got a deal. I do love nice QUALITY though so don't get me wrong, I just don't really like spending my own money. I shop smart and I will, every now and then, treat myself to something nice. After all, I work hard dammit! I use Rakuten to earn cashback and when you use the add on to your desktop/laptop, it also shows you any available coupons. If you'd like to sign up and earn cashback when you shop click HERE. You automatically earn $ ($10 to $30 depending on whether there is a special or not) when you sign up with my link and make your first purchase. I once won a $100 gift card from my favorite store and then when I added things to make a cart and saw that the total was $120, I told myself, I don't want to pay $20. So I signed up for emails on one of my other email accounts, so that I could receive 15% off. It then brought my total to $2 after using the gift card. (: I was so happy I saved money and got that order basically free. I am learning though that I cannot take the money with me (if you know what I mean) and whenever I feel as though I deserve something I will have a little splurge/treat.
No kids club/ Aunty life
Okay, so before I get started on this topic I just want to say keep your opinions to yourself! So I always knew that I didn't want any children since probably my early teen years. I've never had an urge or baby fever. I have many reasons why I don't want children and I could get into them but I'm going to keep that to myself. With that being said, I really wish people would let me make my decision and mind their own business. Someone always wants to have an opinion or input or "oh you say that now but wait until later" or "why". How about you respect people and their decisions and worry about yourself. Okay I'm done now. Any who, I'm just glad to be an Aunty and a Godmother and that alone makes me happy and content.
I've never been in a serious relationship (Sadly) I'm 29
Here's another hot topic that sometimes gets my blood boiling, blood pressure rising and all that other stuff. I've always felt like sometimes I have "waste my time" written on my face. Like honestly, because that's what I've dealt with 95% if not 99% of the time when it comes to dating or interacting with the male species. I've gotten the lies, the “I don't want anything serious right now, ghosting, the lie to try to get out and then getting caught, I don't want a relationship, you name it. Oh, and my favorite one that never gets old is getting so many men who are in "happy relationships" who are trying to take their shot at me. So I've pretty much gotten to a point in life where I'm just living my best life and I'm putting it in God's hands. Trying to do it on my own has left me stressed out, hurt, scarred, frustrated and all. Basically, I've never been one to settle or feel like I need to be in a relationship. I've also learned and seen so much of what my friends and others go through and I always tell myself that is not what I want. I know relationships are not perfect but I also don't think they should be forced or stressful. It ain't easy out here. Pray for us single people.
I am very spiritual
It's no secret that I love the Lord, especially if you follow me on social media or if you actually know me personally. The fact that I was born and raised in a Christian family and household may have something to do with my strong faith. It is all I know and I am still learning so much everyday. Faith is both a journey and a lifestyle and it is not easy, let me tell you. The world will try to test you and you have to try your best to remain firm in your beliefs. I love sharing what I know with everyone and any one who may ask me for information about faith and God. It is a journey of progression not perfection.
Move to California
My move to California was not the easiest. I had people who were both in support and others who were not in favor. One person in particular was one of my superiors at work before I transferred to LA. Thankfully, I've never been one to care much about others’ opinions, especially if they do not support me. I love the Scripture in the Bible that says " I can do all things through God who strengthens me" I actually have it quoted on the homepage and I have a necklace of the scripture as well. I believe that if you want to do anything (obviously good things) and you make a plan, pray, ask for guidance, and follow through with the work, it will prosper. I believe this so much, especially if it is the will of God. So never let anyone's doubt or lack of support stop you from doing anything you want to do. Since I've moved to LA, I've been my happiest and best self. Doors have both opened and closed and I just have to trust my journey and keep pressing forward, no matter how many may hate or do not support me.
I hate messes/Germaphobe
Nothing irritates me more than someone who is a mess or does not clean. I've lived with some pretty disgusting people. It makes me cringe down to my very core. I think growing up seeing my dad clean and the way he taught me to clean has a lot to do with the way that I am today. There are certain things that people do that I will absolutely not join. When it comes to being a germaphobe, it is only slight. Not in an aspect where it's like a full disorder or anything, but certain things need to be cleaned, not messy or dirty. A good example would be something like my handbag will never be on the floor at any time, bathroom doors are opened with a tissue, etc. I just don't like germs!
Self Critic
I am my worst critic. Like I don't know why and I'm not sure what the full reason behind it is, but I am very hard on myself. Sometimes even on the most simple things like what picture to post, thoughts come up like “Am I doing enough?”, “Should I do more than I'm doing now?”. I have very high standards for myself. I always have people telling me things like “Girl, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself.” I'm really trying to work on it but change is not easy! I love myself so much to the point where I continually want to grow and be better. Let me know if you have any advice on how to be less self critical.
That's all folks! I'm sure there are more and I can go on for days but I just thought these were few facts to share. As always, please feel free to leave give me hearts, comments, advice or slide into my chat box of DM on Instagram.